CLIMBING THAT MOUNTAIN...

We are now beginning week 5 in the NICU. It is hard to believe that I gave birth 5 weeks ago. For the past 5 weeks, we have been climbing a mountain. Mary has taken off and was a skilled climber. She has really amazed so many with her efforts.

As I stated before, we have several milestones we have to reach. Mary has been that mountain climber that pushed so hard to do so much. Well, I think she has finally tuckered out. She is beginning to tell us that she is still little and needs to slow down. I can't be sad, because she has worked so hard.

Right now Mary has accomplished 4 out of 8 nipples. This is great news. The part that holds her back is finishing those feeds. She starts very strong, but tires out. We also get one really great feed out of her, but then the others are hard work.
It is great to celebrate her success, but I also have to tell myself that she is young and still growing. Right now she should still be inside of me growing. However, all the things she was to learn inside of me, she is having to do on the outside.

It is hard not to get down some days. I come twice a day and feed her, then we cuddle. It's those moments that I treasure. It is hard to walk away, but my duty as a mom calls for me to go to Maggie. Jack then comes home and spends a little time with us before he heads out to be with Mary. I know this is just a short period, but it's really hard. I appreciate all the people who tell me to stay positive and that this too will pass. However, I do need that moment to break down. That moment too will pass!

We might be on a plateau right now, and that is okay. We will eventually over come this too and our feeds will pick up. After that, we should be closer to coming home and all being together.

I'm proud of my family and how we have worked together. We will continue to climb this mountain together and overcome what we are faced with. Again, I'm blessed with so much. I have a healthy 36 weeker and a fun 4 year old!